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B.A.C.K

Not that anyone will read this or anyone will care but I haven’t used this in months. A naive 17 year old, lost and confused deciding that A-levels were to much and wrting was the way forward, despite how terrible I am at English.

I’m now an immature 18 year old, in a realtionship with a wonderful guy, finished his A-levels, enjoying summer?

I’ve decided to come back, write when I want whenever I want. Not only are the summer holidays the most boring for me, it’s when I feel the most trapped and feel I am unable to express myself. I’m gonna keep motivated and let out emotions to make me feel better and give me a place in the world, resting my brain and giving me peace.

So many conflicting emotions, so many feelings and I’m ready to share them all and organise what goes on in this crazy brain 💜💙💚

I am back.

|D.E.C.I.S.I.O.N.S|

D.elicate

E.motionless

C.harismatic

I.nquisitve

S.illy

I.ndecisive

O.pen

N.eat

S.poradic

I asked my friends to describe me in one word and I managed to make an anagram out of the words to make D.E.C.S.I.O.N.S

Not only is it ironic due to the amount of decisions I have to make right now its something everyone should do, ask your friends to describe you and I am sure you will feel a million times better about anything that may be concerning you. Even if you get emotionless like me, its something to grow on which is one my new years resolutions!

Ask your friends to describe you…

|P.E.B.B.L.E.S|

Being a 17-year-old guy who doesn’t drink alcohol, has strict Indian parents and is fairly antisocial, YouTube has become a big part of my life. 3 years of my life has basically been YouTube non stop! I have always been a big fan of the infamous Zoella and am constantly re-watching her vlogs. The other day I stumbled across a video where her, her boyfriend Alfie and Sean decided to randomly drive down to the Brighton beach and admire the beautiful weather. The video progressed to a classic time-lapse where the three of them decided to put a bottle on a fence and to knock it off with pebbles, one after the other. I don’t think Zoe’s intention was for people to concentrate on this but this time-lapse had me really envious of the life they live. That to me is fun whereas the modern interpretation of fun is to get drunk at a party or go to a concert where you basically die in a mosh-pit. Just because I turn down parties or decide not to come out at 11pm to a park I’m suddenly friendless. Just because my opinion of fun is different to societies opinion I’m suddenly wrong? I realised progressing to the end of the video and having nothing but anger build up inside of me that I can’t do anything about this. It’s the people you are conditioned with in an environment. The video just made me want to go to a beach during sunset and play vintage games with people who have similar intentions as me. Who knew that chucking pebbles at a bottle could have such an impact on my opinion on the world. I’ll probably look back at this in the future and be a completely different person but one thing that will never change is the meaning of the word pebble for me… 528777753